Yikes I'm the Michelin Man....

Well as I was settling into what was occurring and that which I had no power over....We were faced with the diagnosis of Invasive Pulmonary Aspergilliosis. This was a hard pill to swallow, and as I looked into the eyes of Dr. Hirota I knew how serious this news was. My sweet doctor promised that day that he would see this through until the end. He told us not to look all over the web to find out about this fungus, but to go to the CDC site which would cut out all the super scary stuff. I had no access to a computer, nor did I really want to know any more than the fact that I had something in my lungs which wanted to destroy me.... It is a strange place to be in when you have no ability of your own to fight the fight of your life....and really need to fall upon your faith. In truth, it was not long ago at all that 95% of those who contracted this vicious fungus died!

I am incredibly blessed because the word of God has been so planted in me that I could call up Scripture after Scripture to confront each situation as it presented itself....though I couldn't "feel" God....I felt so alone and to be honest I had my weak moments where it was impossible to hold back the tears. But, no matter! I knew that God had a plan and I only needed to trust that He loved me enough to see me through. Did I worry about dying? Yes and NO...Of course, I'm human and my emotions fought against this thing that was happening to me that was unfair; one day I was sitting there not bothering anyone and the next I was fighting for my life. You know, with all the thoughts and conversations that I've had between me and the Lord...I have yet to ask why? I know that I know that I know, that He IS in control. But I was sure that heaven would be my home and was not afraid of death itself. I don't say this lightly because the cost of my sin's being washed away was that of Jesus and what He achieved on the cross and in His shed blood.

And so....all of a sudden I noticed that my eye was becoming swollen and closing. I pointed it out to Mike and the nurses...And no one seemed to be alarmed in any way. Then my chest began to puff up and when I touched it I would sense a crackling sensation. Before long my face puffed up and my chest arms and hands. It was so painful and all of a sudden in the middle of the night, these weird looking people with masks and different uniforms than my regular nurses came and told me they were taking me to ICU and they gathered all of my things in bags and rolled me up to the 7th floor. I was pretty panicked as it was like a scene from some sci-fi movie.

Not long after they got me in the bed, they just left me and didn't tell me anything.....Now, I was already suffering from sleep deprivation and was in so much pain that I began to beg for morphine. When a male nurse finally arrived to "check me in," he didn't seem to know anything about my condition, and that I was supposed to be in isolation. I kind of lost it at this point and raised my voice and told him, how would you feel if you were taken in the middle of the night and no one told you what was going on? He gave me some light reassurance and I made sure that my breathing treatments would continue non-interrupted and that I would be given pain medication whenever I needed it.

I laid there for hours and hours looking out on the floor where it seemed that I was in a fishbowl and everyone else was outside watching at a distance. It was lonely, confusing, frightening and frustrating. I began to hallucinate and would find myself having a full on conversation with someone and then open my eyes to see that no one was there. How embarrassing...as this happened over and over. At this point my catheter had been taken out but they found it would be better to replace it. I had the feeling of having to go potty all the time but didn't know what to do about that...I just waited.

The doctor's determined that I had gotten subcutaneous emphysema because of the early removal of the chest tube. This meant that my blessed surgeon who had painfully removed the tube in the first place would have to re-insert a new drainage tube! Can I say PAIN with a Capitol P? So, it came time and the surgeon arrived and two nursing students attended. One was a female who held my hand as the procedure began. It was terrible! The pain almost too much to bear, and yet I spoke of the sweetness of the Lord the entire time. He hid me in His High Tower!

More to follow....